When I started homeschooling my oldest daughter, she had already completed Kindergarten and Grade One in a private school. She knew how to read, write, understood simple math skills (add, subtract, skip counting) and was conditioned in those two short years of her life, to be a student.
This made teaching her easy. She followed directions, could work independently and her style of learning worked well with the basic curriculum that I chose. I knew nothing about what I was doing, so I chose books that I had seen being used in her school, used techniques that I saw in my own schooling experience and so forth. Sultana's style of learning worked well, and still does with the basic system that you find most commonly in a school setting. This year she even opted to attend an Innovations Class, which runs two full days a week, and covers the majority of her courses in a classroom setting. As per the name, it is innovative, but more on that in a later post.
My second born daughter, Sanaa, would start Kindergarten the following year, when Sultana was entering Grade 3. The decision to stick with homeschool after my first year with Sultana was solidified in my mind, but it took some convincing for my husband. He worried that Sanaa might "miss out" on the KG experience. My plea was directed at the fact that I wanted the girls to stick together and he could see that Sultana was thriving, so he agreed and we went ahead into our second year.
This year was a little bit different than the first, as I was schooling two instead of one, but the Primary Grades are pretty simple to get through. Kindergarten is filled with a lot of activities and much of it is learning through play.
The leap for me, as a "teacher", with no teaching degree, was teaching Sanaa how to read. Once she entered Grade One, the pressure was on to get her reading at the level that the curriculum suggests. It was a much different process, teaching Sanaa how to read, than it was teaching Sultana anything. It really taught me the value of reading skills, and I became so thankful that I have them.
One Day as Sanaa and I were going over her reading, she was making mistakes and getting visibly frustrated. I would correct her and remind her to sound the words out, but honestly, I was getting frustrated too. Not because she was struggling, but because I didn't know how to help her. Anyway she felt my frustration and ended up throwing the book across the floor and crying. "I can't do it!", she screamed. Well I cried too, tears of guilt for not being able to give her what she needed. That was a sad day, but it sparked something in me that has made me a better mother and teacher since.
We took the rest of the day off, went to the park, got slurpees and found our happy place.
Frustration is a natural part of life, there will be times your child feels it and there will be times when you feel it. Understand that this feeling is your brain telling you to take a break, and then come back to tackle the problem once you've rejuvenated.
When Frustration sets it, walk away and find your happy place!
This rule should be for both teacher and student. Nobody teaches, learns, or works well, when they are frustrated. Deep Breaths, a walk outside, a craft, a snack - do anything to clear the air of negative energy. You want your child to associate learning with joy, fulfillment and success. Frustration will happen, its a part of life. By teaching your child to do this with their school work you are giving them a valuable lesson for life, as well.
That experience with Sanaa, drove me to learn more about how I could teach her in better ways when it came to reading. I reached out to our teacher and asked for new curriculum, and I took new approaches to learning. I also addressed that moment of frustration with my daughter. I told her that she was a brilliant child and that it was normal to feel frustrated sometimes. I explained to her that frustration means we take a break and come back ready to tackle the problem with a fresh mind. One thing we don't do is give up.
That was the first half of the conversation, the second half was about my frustration. I made sure she knew that I was only frustrated with myself, for now knowing how to help her better, but also that I was going to find a way. And then, something very liberating came out of my mouth-
"I don't know everything, I'm learning too. I'm learning how to teach you!"
It's good for your children to know that you know you don't know everything. because trust me, they already know that you don't! It's quite a relief to not have to have the answers for everything the minute someone asks, and I'm especially happy that I learned this in the beginning because this year my oldest is taking Algebra! Ha. But, some thing beautiful happens when your child watches you learn. When they ask you a question, or you come across something in a textbook that you don't know, they watch how you deal with that, their eyes transmit to their brain as they watch you, just what you are going to do about it. That is a lesson in itself, so make it a good one! There is a bonus though, and that is that if you have learned something in the past, it'll come back to you a lot faster and then you can look quite smart and earn some points for being a fast learner.
All brains are not the same, equal but different.
If you are homeschooling, or planning to homeschool, more than one child, just remember that what you do with one, may not work for the other. As a matter of fact, your child may have a completely different learning style than you do (or thought you did?)
I now have four children at schooling age. The oldest in grade 8, the youngest in KG. They all have similarities, yet all have striking differences as well. Personality definitely plays a role in how a child learns, I will say that. Its a matter of investing the time to see what works for them. The human being is so complex, and each of us unique. What i can say is that teaching your children is an investment that you will love, stress over, cry over, and really just love some more. Its adding a whole new relationship, one that you build as teacher/student. I'm still mom, but I'm also more. Its important they remember that too.
When you're in teacher mode- stay there.
This became more necessary for me this year than it ever has been. Perhaps it's the chaos of having one child reading shakespear, one learning fractions, another one learning cursive writing and another one learning to read and write; not to mention a crazy toddler who pretends he's The Hulk (or Spiderman, Batman, Power Ranger....) in the mix. When you are teaching, don't let your soft mommy-ness get in the way. I find that having my children understand that teaching them is a job, and an important one, helps them to respect what I ask of them and to take it seriously. The older they get the more this makes sense to them, so start conditioning this idea now.
Life is Learning, that never ends.
Perhaps the very most important thing to me, is this. This is what homeschool has awarded me over the years. The understanding that school is not a place, that education is not something separate from life experiences. I aim to make the things we learn have meaning, for the knowledge we seek to consume make change within ourselves. So when your child says they like something, or if they ask a question at the most inopportune time, find the time and go with it. There is a spark in every child to learn, don't let that spark get away without creating a flame, and then fan it, fan it, fan it. You wont be sorry.
